What to Get the Cyclist Who Says They Don't Want Anything

Every year it’s the same conversation. Someone asks the cyclist in their life what they want for Christmas, and the cyclist says “honestly, nothing, I’m fine.” They are lying. They are never fine. They have a list, it’s just written in a language you don’t speak, and it’s full of words like “cassette” and “wet lube” that are going to get you the wrong thing and a very polite thank you.

We’ve been on both ends of that exact exchange more times than we can count, usually stood in a kitchen in December, trying to work out what our other half actually wants without asking them directly and ruining it. So here’s the honest answer, from two brothers who’ve bought this wrong and eventually got it right.

Don’t try to out-bike-shop the bike shop

If you don’t know the difference between their current groupset and the one they’ve been not-so-subtly leaving open on a laptop tab, don’t guess. Bike kit is specific, sized, and easy to get catastrophically wrong. You will buy the wrong bottle cage. Everyone does the first time.

Get them something for after the ride, not during it

The bit people forget is that most of a cyclist’s actual joy doesn’t happen on the bike, it happens leaning against a café wall afterwards, gloves off, hands wrapped round something hot, telling anyone who’ll listen exactly how the ride went. That’s the bit that’s easy to buy for, because it’s not about the bike at all.

Which is, transparently, why we started doing this. Every bag we design is named after something every rider’s lived through: the bonk, the mechanical, the smug feeling of drafting someone up a climb they didn’t know they were pacing you up. It’s not cycling kit. It’s the thing that’s waiting at the end of the kit working.

We’ve put together an actual gift guide that matches a bag to the kind of rider they are, rather than making you guess. If you already know the difference between them and just want to skip to it, that’s what it’s there for.

The bit that actually matters

Order it in good time. Every bag is roasted to order by our roastery rather than sitting in a warehouse, which means it takes longer to get to you than something already sat on a shelf, but tastes a lot better for it. This year the cutoff for guaranteed UK Christmas delivery is 18 December. After that we’ll still send it, we just won’t promise it beats the day itself.

That’s the whole guide, really. Skip the bike shop, buy the thing waiting at the end of the ride, and don’t leave it to the 23rd.

— John & Rich